dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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