it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
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then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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