Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize