Can Purell be used as lube?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize