My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
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I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
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There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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