More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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