this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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