I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize