she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize