tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
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I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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