Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize