There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize