girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize