I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We have started to decorate penises.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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