i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
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it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
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This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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