I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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