I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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