I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
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