either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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