I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Randomize