Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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