her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
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You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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