I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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