Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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