he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I pour the whiskey from now on
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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