my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize