i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
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What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
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It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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