I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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