who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize