You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize