You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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