after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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