drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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