Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
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well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
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Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
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