Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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