these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize