she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize