Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just found puke in my bra..
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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