You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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