just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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