I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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