he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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