The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize