Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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