Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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