Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to

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(507): drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to http://tfl.nu/z3ca

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(313): View more from Michigan

That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.

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(313): That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve. http://tfl.nu/vdk5

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest

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(267): After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest http://tfl.nu/54ul

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(407): View more from Florida

I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.

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(407): I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying. http://tfl.nu/u472

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix

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(803): I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix http://tfl.nu/tcv4

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.

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(201): Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it. http://tfl.nu/rf1i

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.

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(610): He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember. http://tfl.nu/2y89

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(410): View more from Maryland

It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.

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(410): It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience. http://tfl.nu/n6q9

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(970): View more from Colorado

im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.

(303): View more from Colorado

i dont think thats healthy man...

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(970): im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful. (303): i dont think thats healthy man... http://tfl.nu/vurl

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(402): View more from Nebraska

She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.

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(402): She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party. http://tfl.nu/tru3

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(503): View more from Oregon

Did I change midway through last night?

(206): View more from Washington

Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking

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(503): Did I change midway through last night? (206): Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking http://tfl.nu/rz21

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(407): View more from Florida

Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.

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(407): Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck. http://tfl.nu/ldxl

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(601): View more from Mississippi

This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!

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(601): This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK! http://tfl.nu/gkpr

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(757): View more from Virginia

Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even

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(757): Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even http://tfl.nu/st9j

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.

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(617): Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea. http://tfl.nu/cuto

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