I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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