I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
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I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
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I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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