SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
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The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She's the barista slut.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
wow bdsm is so cute
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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