I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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